ETIQUETTE: My Etiquette preferences plus some helpful hints for the Industry as a whole to ensure you get the best experience.
Sex workers are human too and there are alot of great Providers Australia wide who are doing a lot of hard work to change the stereotypes and stigma associated with our industry....and I believe it is working. I mean, we now have Decriminalisation in most Australian states and Territories. Thats a huge win.
I personally do not do enough in this regard however I have dabbled a little bit in the politics of the industry. Hopefully this page is a small contribution as well.
We are Sisters, Mothers, Daughters, Wives, Lovers, Friends and contributing members of society from all walks of life and interests. We deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity like anyone else. We deserve to be treated with common courtesy regarding who we are as individuals, our time, our values, our kinks and our lifes desires.....just like you would expect for yourself, your daughter, your wife, your mother.
There is alot of stigma still associated wth this industry which we are trying to change. Sex work is real work just like your employment.
There are some really great pages on Etiquitte out there. Hopefully this is another.
Below are my preferences and opinions about what I would expect to see in way of Etiquitte when you decide to contact me or any worker
ON THIS PAGE YOU WILL FIND TIQUETTE ON:
FEEL FREE TO READ THIS NOVEL IN IT'S ENTiRETY OR SKIP TO THE PART YOU WOULD LIKE TO LEARN ABOUT THE MOST. THE PAGE IS IN ORDER TO THE SEQUENCE BELOW FOR YOUR EASY PERUSAL
1. SCREENING
2.HOW TO CONTACT
3. NOTICE PERIOD
4. WHAT TO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF5.DICK PICS AND PICTURES OF YOURSELF IN GENERAL
6. ASKING A PROVIDER FOR PICTURES
7. NATURAL SERVICES
8.HAGGLING
9.PAYMENT/DEPOSIT10.CONTACT BEFORE A BOOKING BUT AFTER DEPOSIT PAID
11.HYGIENE AND PREPARING FOR YOUR BOOKING
12.BOOKING TIME AND ARRIVAL FOR BOOKING
13.INITIAL GREETING
14.PERSONAL QUESTIONS
15.RESPECTING EACH OTHERS RULES AND BOUNDARIES16.SHOWER ON ARRIVAL
17.DURING THE BOOKING
18.FINALISING THE BOOKING
19.FEEDBACK
20.AFTER THE BOOKING
21.BETWEEN EACH BOOKING
22.SEXUAL HEALTH
23.GIFTS
24.HAVN'T HEARD BACK?
25.SEEING ME OUT IN PUBLIC
26.DISCRETION
27. OTHER WORKERS
1. SCREENING
Most Independant workers would have a screening process in place. Most of the time you would not even be aware we are screening you but we are. Our work can be unpredictable and dangerous if we do not. The first initial contact is all about gauging who you might be alone in a room. Think of it as an interview process. I personally won't accept you as a client if you have not presented yourself well on initial contact.
If you are unable to follow the screening process and try to push boundaries, it tells us you may not be safe in the room.
Another common mistake is not understanding we have you in a screening process and assuming we do not know what we are doing and try to control the process yourself. If we ask you a few questions and you fail to answer them but answer what you think we should know instead, this is a massive red flag. We do actually know what we are doing. Just follow along.
Each Provider will have thier own way they have learned to do thier screening so don't expect this to be the same each time. Some Providers might ask you for photo ID and proof of address, some might ask for deposit only. Some might have other requirements. Ensure you read a Providers profile properly to ensure you know what screening requirements they may ask for on initial contact. You might not be comfortable with what the Provider is asking for which is completely ok. Then you should not contact them and try to negotiate the specific screening point. This is another red flag.
I personally ask for a name ( doesn't even have to be your real name just something I can call you), what service you would like, what time and a non negotiable deposit. So many people contact saying " I seen your deposit policy but I don't do deposits" This will get you blocked in most instances. If you do not do deposits, you are best to move on and contact a Provider who has other requirements that are not a deposit. And if you cannot give me a basic name there is something very wrong with that. Don't negotiate our screening
2.HOW TO CONTACT
Ensure you read a Providers advertisements or website to how best contact them. I personally don't accept phone calls as I have experienced too many people having a free wank on the other end of the phone and asking too many non sense questions already answered in my website or advertisements. I don't interview well myself in this setting as I do not tolerate it and I am clear in my tone over the phone I don't tolerate it. Texting allows me time to prepare my response in this instance. I will acept an emial booking request however finalising your booking requires a valid phone number I can text with address details on the day.
Some Providers only accept phone calls, not text as they can vet you through how you articulate yourself by voice or other various reasons. Some Providers prefer emials, whatsapp and other communication tools. So make sure you contact a Provider on thier prefered contact method. You will not start off on the right foot if you contact on an unpreferred method
3. NOTICE PERIOD
Each Provider has thier own preference to how much notice they require. Some are ok with short notice, others may ask for a few hours while others may ask for at least 24 to 48 hours or longer. Ensure to read a Providers advertsements for these specifications. If there are no specifications then I would assume they are ok with short notice bookings.
My opinion and preference: I will make myself available at short notice as this seems to be what men want most of the time however I hate it. I find this extremely disrespectful. I used to have a note in my ads asking for minimum 2 hours notice but no-one seemed to care about this so I gave up. When you give at least 2 hours notice even for Providers who don't mind short notice, it shows you appreciate their time. It shows you respect they may not be sitting there waiting for your dick emergency and is busy with thier own life, hobbies and other clients.
4. WHAT TO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF
IN THE BOOKING PROCESS:
For me, I am not after alot of information. Basically just a name, a date and time, what service you would like. All Providers will expect different information so make sure to read the entire advertisement which may advise you what the Provider would like to know about you on introduction, or follow the Providers Booking Process once you have contacted them and be sure to answer all questions they are asking.
My advise if the Provider has not stipulated the information they want on initial contact is be short and sweet in your first message to a Provider and include at least the information I am asking for as a general rule of thumb. If the Provider needs more information they will ask.
AVOID:
*Short one answer replies are a big red flag and tells us you are not overly interested in a genuine experience. Large long winded paragraphs are also a red flag. Short sentences that get to the point are great. Find a happy balance with this.
*Unless the Provider has specifically asked you to tell them, I would avoid advising descriptions on Race, Body Type and Physical Description (Example: young and hot). Most of us are not this judgemental and talking like this sets a bit of a sour tone that you may think you are doing us a favour by being young and hot. We only care you can pay a deposit and cash on arrival and hopefully can hold a decent conversation in the booking. Everything else is irrelevant.
*Do not advise the Provider how good your skills are for them. This makes you sound like a Douche and borderlines Sexting which you should not do without payment to the Provider. This is business and we like your cash...not your Abs. Speaking from personal experience from someone who finds it easy to orgasm, I am yet to orgasm for someone who tells me on introduction that they will make me with thier amazing skills. Easiest way to dry a Providers Sex Drive right up
DURING THE BOOKING ITSELF:
I can only speak for myself on this one. I am not able to speak for other Providers regarding thier preference in the room. I am open to discuss anything with you. If we happen to get onto a topic I am not comfortable with, I will gently guide you in another direction but I am open to hearing anything you wish to tell me about yourself in our time together. I am non judgemental. I personally enjoy getting to know you as a person and am grateful for our time together.
5.DICK PICS AND PICTURES OF YOURSELF IN GENERAL
It is illegal to send unsolicited Dick Pictures of yourself to anyone not just Sex Workers. Most Providers will not tolerate this behaviour and will block you immediately. I know a couple of Providers who don't mind. But the majority do mind. So unless you have permission to send a Dick Pic, do not send one. I personally will block you immediately if you send Dick Pic picture without permission.
Pictures of yourself fully clothed is a debated topic. Some Providers require this as part of thier booking process. Others would prefer you did not send a picture at all. The general consensus when someone sends a Provider a selfie when it was not asked for is a red flag as a potential timewaster. It is best practice to not send any pictures of yourself unless the Provider asks you for one.
6. ASKING A PROVIDER FOR PICTURES
7. NATURAL SERVICES8.HAGGLING9.PAYMENT/DEPOSIT10.CONTACT BEFORE A BOOKING BUT AFTER DEPOSIT PAID11.HYGIENE AND PREPARING FOR YOUR BOOKING12.BOOKING TIME AND ARRIVAL FOR BOOKING13.INITIAL GREETING14.PERSONAL QUESTIONS15.RESPECTING EACH OTHERS RULES AND BOUNDARIES16.SHOWER ON ARRIVAL17.DURING THE BOOKING
A good experience requires flow. Having a long to do list for a 30 or 60 minute booking does not allow for flow. Lets just do a few things off the list and let the booking flow naturally? I am a proffessional. I have been in the industry long enough to know how to ensure you have a good time and get your needs met. I also know how to manage the time so you get the most out of your experience. If you try to overly control the booking, it's not fun for either of us.
To give a good example of what I mean by overly control: I recall a specific client. He pushed boundaries as soon as the deposit was recieved byme by saying he would be late for the booking which was more than 24 hours away at this point. I advised him I was not able to see him at another time or any later as I had an appointment straight after. He was 15 minutes late and expected me to go over time. I advised him I made it clear before he booked that was not an option. I advised him he had 45 minutes left. Every minute was " ok, what can we do next". He would not allow natural flow. I already had my back up and felt uneasy by his conduct prior. He was not unsafe, just really annoying. We made it through the booking ok but I don't think either of us had a pleasant time. Just relax and let the booking flow. You would have told me in initial contact what kind of experience you were after. Allow it to unfold.
Of course, please communicate with me if you don't like something I am doing, or you really like something I am doing. Maybe you like what I am doing but I am not doing it the way you specifically like it. Tell me this. That is hot to tell me how you like it. Is there something you would like to try and be a bit adventurous on? I will also do the same in return if you are reciprocating the pleasure. I will let you know what I like and dont like. Its sexy I reckon. But long to do lists are just not sexy.
18.FINALISING THE BOOKING19.FEEDBACK
20.AFTER THE BOOKING
I will not contact you again unless you contact me for another booking. Most Providers would go by this method as it is the most discreet method. There are some Providers who send a Thankyou text. I think this is a great idea within 5 minutes of the booking ending however in my experience it has happened hours later when I was at home having dinner with my family. In the Sex Industry, this is not ok in my opinion. This is not discreet. This is rare in my opinion, but to be safe, just let your Provider know you don't want any follow up texts.
I love recieving thankyou texts from you. It kind of finalises our time together and it's a lovely idea for you to initiate. I will generally reply in this instance with a reciprocol message.
21.BETWEEN EACH BOOKING
You might think it is cute to text a sexy message between bookings that you are thinking of me but I personally don't like this for my business. This opinion varies depending on Provider preference however I would guess the majority would prefer you did not communicate with them unless you wanted to make a time to see them.
I know some Providers who find this good business to keep in contact between bookings as well. That is not my view. You would not text your doctor between visits saying you were thinking of them so why do you need to do it in this industry?
I love our time together and I genuinely enjoy getting to know you as a person in our time together, but I view texts between bookings as unpaid labour. I am running a business at the end of the day. Maybe if you want to keep in touch we could do a 15 minute sexting session. Its cheap and it ensures the proffessional client boundary is kept. If you do not want to pay for a sexting session then its best if you contact me only to make a booking.
22.SEXUAL HEALTH23.GIFTS24.HAVN'T HEARD BACK?25.SEEING ME OUT IN PUBLIC26.DISCRETION
27. OTHER WORKERS
Discretion goes both ways.
This is a business transaction. Just as you get your coffee from many cafe's, we undertsand you may get your proffessional sex from other places too. Discussing other workers in the booking is an extreme no no for me. I have a few clients who talk about thier many high profile escorts they have seen during our booking. This is just icky and a no no in my opinion. I have only pulled these clients up if what they are saying becomes too personal about the other worker but I will generally reply that the worker they are talking about is an amazing human and try to direct the booking another way.
But it's just not good Etiquette to name drop.
Some workers require a reference from another worker in thier screening process. Of course in this instance it is ok. But this does not mean you should openly discuss the worker who gave you a reference in the current booking. The line stops with the reference.
Love Sarah xx